ReMInDer

ADAB MENDENGAR ITU PENTING

Apabila seseorang mengharapkan kita mendengar buah fikiranya, luahan hatinya & penjelasan dirinya, Apakah kita seorang pendengar setia? Atau berpura-pura mendengar dan akhirnya terkapai-kapai mencari butir percakapan diakhir perbualan tersebut. Oleh itu, marilah kita renungkan Adab-adab mendengar di bawah.

1. Diam dan memperhatikan

Apabila kawan kita sedang berbicara, sebaiknya kita senyap dan p ...erhatikan dia.
Bagi perhatian ke dia.Janganlah, tengah dia bercerita kamu pulak sibuk main sms. Sikit-sikit “tweet..tweet..tweet..tweet..SMS..” . Tak pun, tengah-tengah dia bercerita, kamu pulak “GOLLLL!!..” padahal kat tv tu siaran ulangan je.=.=” Tapi, jangan lah pulak kamu pandang dia macam nak telan. Nanti dia ingat kamu perli dia pulak. Langsung tak jadi nak cerita.
Ketika sedang dalam majlis-majlis pula, tak perlulah rasanya kita berborak sakan.
Dengar dengan teliti apa yang cuba disampaikan. Tapi pandai-pandailah elak dari mengantukye. Tak pasal-pasal dewan yang sunyi tu hanya dengar suara penceramah, tiba-tiba berduet pulak dengan suara kamu berdengkur... “Kita hendaklah sentiasa.. (krohhhh..krohhh..).. saling mengingatkan ..(krohh..krohhh)..sesama manusia..(krohhh..krohhh)..”

Firman Allah dalam Surat Qaff (50) : ayat 37


إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَذِكْرَى لِمَنْ كَانَ لَهُ قَلْبٌ أَوْ أَلْقَى السَّمْعَ وَهُوَ شَهِيدٌ

Ertinya : Sesungguhnya pada yang demikian itu benar-benar terdapat peringatan bagi orang-orang yang mempunyai akal atau yang menggunakan pendengarannya, sedang Dia menyaksikannya.

2. Tidak memotong/memutus pembicaraan

Sebaik-baiknya, biarlah orang yang bercakap menghabiskan dulu percakapannya, baru lah kita boleh menyampuk. ^^ . Jangan pula kawan tengah syok bercerita, belum lagi habis bercakap... kita mulalah.. “Ha, tula pasalnye..bla..bla..bla.. Mamat tu memang..” .... “Mamat mana ni..?” Melainkan, sesetengah penyampai (dalam majlis ilmu) mengizinkan para pendengarnya untuk menyampuk. “Sila angkat tangan jika mahu bertanya, tak apa.. saya tak kisah kalau orang menyampuk pun” (tapi, nanti bila ada orang angkat tangan “err, cikgu...saya..” .. “sekejap ye, bagi cikgu habis cakap dulu..” )

3. Menghadapkan wajah pada pembicara

Pandang mata pencerita, menunjukkan kita memberi perhatian kepada mereka. Eye contact itu penting ye.

“I’m looking to your eyes.”

Jangan memalingkan wajah darinya sepanjang perbualan selagi sesuai dengan syariat
(kecuali kalau berbicara dengan lawan jantina.. kan lain pulak jadinya)

4. Jangan rasa diri kita lebih tahu dari yang berbicara

Senang bahasa, jangan ngade-ngade nak tunjuk pandai. Jangan membanding-bandingkan perkara yang dia buat dengan perkara yang kita buat. Tidak perlulah kita nak kecil-kecilkan masalah dia. “Eleh, benda kecik pn nak hebohla ko ni.. Tengok macam aku.. bla..bla..bla..”
Mungkin kecil pada kita, tapi besar pada dia. Kan?

(dipetik dari http://nuramalinayazid.blogspot.com/)

Apabila kita mengharap sahabat/rakan kita mendengar bingkisan hati kita, pernahkah kita terfikir mereka juga memerlukan kita menjadi pendengar mereka. Oleh itu, jadilah pendengar yang baik kerana suatu hari kita juga memerlukan mereka untuk menjadi pendengar setia kita.

 

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Forgotten girl dies in car in Malaysia

I found that this news is a bit shock since it shows that carelessness can cause death. I was angry and disappointed with the child father since he was too careless and clumsy in his act. However, I don't think that we should blame others as openly as the commentators who read this article nor that you should banned all fathers because of only this person. As for me, he has got his punishment (the death of her daughter) for his carelessness but for others, especially parents please take this as thing to reflect on and be more careful in every act. There are also story about good fathers or a role model fathers. I have three stories to share regarding those three magnificent fathers that I observed from my very closed friends. First story is about  the grateful father, which is compare to some people who feel grateful when they have a son, I saw with my very eyes my friend's father kiss my friend forehead and recite doa' (prayer) when his hand touch her head. I asked him what did he recite, he replied "I pray for my daughter to be wise, to be polite and to be intelligent and to respect her parents and to a good Muslim". I was surprise to the extend that I prayed back in my heart that he will be loved by her daughter forever and to know that her father feel grateful that he has a daughter, she is very fortunate. The second story is what I saw accidentally. On that day, I was on my way back home (which is a few kilometers from my hostel)  when I saw my friend crying while her father hug her to calm her down. I heard by others saying that she is depressed by her position as a school high committee. At that moment, her father was comforting her saying "It's okay, you can do it", I hear only a few words and forgot almost all. Moreover, I was not in her sight (more towards her father sight that she didn't notice me). I feel relieve to know that her father was there to comfort her instead of some people who took people problems lightly and make them worst. Finally, the last story happened recently and I was eager to write since I can't hardly find this character in anyone accept if you love someone dearly. My friend's car being hit by "mat rempit" (illegal racer) and the accident damaged the car bumper. As the motorcyclist asked her to settle the situation outside the authority jurisdiction (means that not in police station), she agree since she consider about him that he is M**** (Sorry, sensitive issue) not from a rich family and was not working.  On the day they come to settle the issue, he brought with him his mother and his brother (big, sturdy body) met my friend and his father and start asking QUESTIONS about the incident that never did they realize that they haven't gave their apology to my friend. Instead they insult my friend in front of her father by saying "it is just a little scratches, it does not need big amount of money to repair. Anyway, may be your daughter is the one who drive faster and make it happened". moreover, they bring the brother to threaten my friend family so that they can escape from paying anything and from the becoming police cased.  Therefore, my friend's father who was observing the situation and who was calmly stand beside her at last spoke gently, “Are you coming here to blame my daughter for the accident or do you want to settle the matters. If not we may proceed to the police station". Later, her father made the police report after they kept going on and on about my friends’ mistake and shows as if the guy that hit the car was not guilty at all. That conclude the story of the three magnificent fathers. As for me, my father couldn't be the perfect father I hope or wish but I'm glad that I still have one. My friends even said that "No matter how bad your father is, he is still your father. Respect and love him and take what is good about him and made the bad things as example so that once you have a family you will not doing the same mistake". I appreciate this words very much because from way back, I have many disappointment with my father especially in terms of feelings. However, I started to find his good side too, little by little that is, when I start to talk things with my family and start to consider others feeling as well. Thus, since June is the month celebrated for father’s day. I would like to wish to all wonderful father a HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY and may your love and care for your beloved daughters and sons be appreciated and be love back by them more and most.       

 9 June 2011 

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Memang Allah sengaja....
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita dapat menjadi penilai yg baik.

* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita sedar bahawa kita hanyalah makhluk yg sentiasa mengharapkan pertolongan ALLAH.

* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita dapat KASIH SAYANG YANG TERBAIK,KHAS UNTUK DIRI KITA.

* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita sedar bahawa ALLAH MAHA PEMURAH & PENYAYANG kerana mengingatkan kita bahawa dia bukanlah pilihan yg hebat untuk kita dan kehidupan kita pada masa depan...
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita dapat mengutip pengalaman yg tak semua orang berpeluang untuk mengalaminya.

* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita jadi MANUSIA YG HEBAT JIWANYA.
* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita lebih faham bahawa CINTA YG TERBAIK HANYA ADA BERSAMA ALLAH.

* memang ALLAH sengaja menemukan kita dengan orang yg salah supaya kita LEBIH MENGENALI KEHIDUPAN YG TAK SELAMANYA KEKAL. Wahai sahabat yg kecewa, menderita dan sengsara kerana cinta, fahamilah bahawa kehidupan kita makin sampai ke penghujungnya. Hari esokpun kita sendiri tak pasti samada menjadi milik kita. Gapailah keredhaan ALLAH dengan melaksanakan suruhan-NYA, dan meninggalkan laranganNYA. . PERCAYALAH sesungguhnya ALLAH malu untuk menolak permintaan hamba-NYA yg menadah tangan meminta dengan penuh pengharapan HANYA kepada-NYA


(Got this from a friend of mine :) 18/03/2010-9:42a.m.)