Farewell is the hardest world to say and swallowed...

I wish I had met you early,

I wish I had worked longer,

I wish I had found you in my youth,

I wish I had been as inspires as you are,

However, I am who I am...

You are who you are...

Although, 7 years were not short but it sill aren't long

I received a lot and still learning till now

I just wish you would stay and taught me more

But, I had to accept bitterly that

When there is a Hi! there is a Goodbye

May this one piece of poem be the remembrance of how lucky  I am under your tutelage

May this one piece of poem be a reminder to me too

I will not will always be there for THEM too...

Love,

NARN

08.11.2022 (10.36am - HOD.ENG.OFF) 

Farewell: I lost my half of my heart

3 June 2018

I can never forget...

The verse I read...

The prayer I made...

The feeling I had...

The time I spend...

The gazed she had on me...

The conversation she had with me...

The prayer I read on his forehead before I leave...

The moment I spend on that Sunday evejing still burn bright in my head and my heart...

Finally, when I met her again...

She was lying there, cold and lifeless, in her white clothes...

No more nagging...
No more laughing...
No more smiling...

Just her normal wrinkling forehead that was unable to settle down any more...

A kiss of goodbye on that very forehead...
Abundance verses of prayers that cause me to loose my voice...
Endless of tears till now...

I lost a dear friend, my aunt and my heart...

I miss her so much...

That when I decided...
I will not wait for anymore death before I get to fulfill this wishes of mine.

I shall not wait not I shall care for others who disregard me during my fragile moments

I shall not wait any more...

Farewell mak yong, I will always pray for you. Love you till the end.

The furious heart of yours could never waived my bleeding heart...

March 2018

Everything has to move...

The plan is in motion...

I yearned to tell somebody but as my heart scream for attention...you look away and close ypur ears...

All you ever utter were dissatisfaction over evrything which left me no room to say a single thing

All you do are complaining all day long and hardly look at yourself for mistakes...proud of your ownselves and forgot to be humble and forgive others.

I...shut my eyes, my ears, my heart and my mouth, since nothing I said shall satisfied your greedy heart...

Nothing will and never will...

So I left my heart to bleed and ignore those furious eyes of yours...

Though this heart sadden the most...question upon question left unanswered. Why are they so greed? and why did they close their eyes and heart from others kindness?

It left to uncertainty deep in one soul...

The long thoughts and the decision I made...

August 7, 2017

A mysterious day to celebrate your birthday on an Island far from home...

A gentle hug from strangers that you will never forget...

A modest gift from nature and the sea...

A simple wish bless by dear Lord of the universe...

And a time given to gaze over the blue sky, grey cloud and snowy mountain...

Thus, a long thought run through every nerve that still alive and a heavy decision have been made there and then...

On the land of the Kiwi's celebrating my 31st born day away from my hectic life that nearly drawn me to insanity...I pray hard and wish will all my heart...

I need to stop this madness and let nothing stop me from living this insane life of mine behind...

Meaningful days...

Cup of Green Tea...

There're coffee
There're tea

There're sandwich
And there're mee

Nothing much but ice latte green tea
Nothing much but a doughnut and me

For a memories within boundaries of fate
Hard to be
Hard to consider
And even harder to unscript the scripted

May hope, wishes and prayers
Bring us closes to the almighty

Bless us with happiness
As fate plays its role

Bless us with answers
As fate touches thy soul

Bless us with His forgiveness
If we were played by bystander and so

And finally may all none be forgotten
And may all be wishes, prayers and fated souls.

Love,
Nasuha ARN
(11. 34pm, 17 April 2017)
An outing to know one soul
A dating to reach the history of others
An out of mind plan to understand one place
And a challenge to see one heart...
Casuarina @ Meru -> My little comford zone.

Freee.........is something I will not get while being a workaholic ^~^

It has been a year (and a few month) since I wrote something here...and it seems to become a trend in my life to stop when I drop or off working madly...

I was wishing deep down in my heart to God..please give me some free time to live...

But not a moment right now I had the time to be carefree and able to left everything behind...
I missed comfortable slumber till morning, I missed eating a lot of delicious food, I missed cooking everything and anything and I missed writing a song, a poem (I do but I don't know where I place it
 -_-) and jotting down my traveling experiences....

Ahhh...how I missed to be a normal person and a nobody...not to be remembered and not to be known...

But that all in the past....

I stop writing when I appointed (again) as the young and the only woman as a Head of Department...

People put hopes...people (I choose not to say who..) create gaps..people blame mistakes...people giving this and that...and people sympathize...

There are some showing love, appreciation and respect...but they are just small numbers and couldn't be seen with eyes...

and once you moved in this direction (as what you've been appointed)...time seems to move faster than before....

There are no time for a happy sleeping (I still make sure that I woke up with a happy mind - coz this influenced my mood for the whole day - You don't want to see my moody days coz I hurt people so much without feeling guilty that it seems I had the heart of a stone)....and I have no time for "a cup of tea"...

all I do is working non-stop and wreck havoc to my life... -_-

and what comes after worst... is non to blame... I injured my knee and was advised to limit my movement...

Life is hard...life is a challenge...life is full of mystery...and my life is mixed with "tea" and "coffee" with additional of vanilla, chamomile and lemon...

I wish to be free..However, the question that came up to my mind made me wonder till now....

"after you've been set free, then, what will you do?" "What do I do next?"

--Just my piece of trouble mind and trouble heart-- (will be going to Japan soon with no heart at all..knee still hurt like hell T_T )

Break down

It is all start with a small crack...

Then,

the wall that you trust with all your heart will not fall on you
start falling apart

if it start with a small stone you might feel that the situation is far from dangerous

but

it start with enormous boulders and big stones which non-stop hitting you
again and again and again...

where should you run...where should you turn too
there is a serpent on your right
there is a quick sand on your left
there is a big hole in front
and there is the wall that protect you at the back however, it's raining with cruel stones...

You can stay and do nothing
You can run but all the same you will hurt terribly

There is no crack now but a large scars and a stone heart in place of "friendship"

For I have nothing against you nor that I have anything for you

but enough is enough, my heart could not take it no more 

the lies, the hatred, the betrayal

the cruel words

I

I

I

I

I

will show no mercy

when it comes to word or attitude

when it involve my 

heart!

Thus, I 

will not surrender to your judgement

Nor that I'll let you do whatever you want to my things or my mind

since 

from today I distrust you from my life and my memories for your selfishness hurt me deep inside

sincerely...narn (25/03/2015 - 10.03pm)